80%

80%, this is the official amount of work I suppose to do based on my part time arrangement, just upgraded from 70% to 80% wef 1 May. My 4th anniversary with the investment bank has just past on the GE day. So I decided it is time that I pay a tribute to my work (career?), the other part that identifies me.

Nowadays, most of my identity comes as a mother of two. However, I do spend more than 8 hours a day in the office, fighting all breaks, churns all sorts of numbers, not missing my children for a single minute. It is only when I step out of the office, I wish I could fly to the side of my kids. Whether I am a good mum, is yet to be evaluated by my two little employers, who probably can give me their opinion in a few years time. I am definitely a good worker, and I am happy that my employer at work thinks so as well.

What has changed from 4 years ago (then) to now?

Then: I stayed late in the office until 9pm as a general rule, and until 11pm on occasion.
Now: I go off at 6:30pm (my official time is 4:30pm, hence, I seriously need to look at my workload even now)

Then: I got 100% pay.
Now: I get 80% pay, but higher in absolute term.

Then: I tried my best to answer all queries coming my way, even if it is not within my remit. i.e I was super helpful.
Now: I redirect. I delegate. I empower. :)

Then: I wrote lengthy emails detailing the issues, gives examples, uses illustration, proposing solutions.
Now: I write a few lines, but still able to articulate the issue and solution. No example, or illustration normally.

Then: I was interviewed.
Now: I am the interviewer, seeing about 10 candidates in two weeks.

Then: I was career minded and hope to fly high.
Now: I am family oriented, and willing to give up opportunities with no regrets.

What has not changed?

Then and Now: I still aim for the highest quality of work.
Then and Now: I never slack. I complete all tasks within the best of my means, and do not hold back in any case.

There were countless moments in these years, that I thought of quitting my job, spending the crucial years with my kids, watching them grow, discovering the tiniest bit of their developments...... They remained as thoughts. I usually leave it as financial consideration. But deep in heart, there is a part of me being happy that I am a Really Useful Engine, that I am truly independent.

And, other than my two little tots, I don't think other family members support the idea of stay at home mum.
Hubby: He always says he support any decision that I make. But I don't think he will be happy if I indeed stay at home, with zero income.
Mum and Dad: My folks never supported the idea. They always think that I will lose my independence if I asked money from Hubby. My in laws do not support either.

So, there would not be stay at home mum. There would not be # 3.

For my kids, mummy did want to stay at home to look after you. Mummy loves you!