Home Trip 回家

We are going home (my in laws' place) for two weeks starting this weekend till end of the month. I haven't been back to his hometown since we got married. Neither did the kids. I reckon it is time to bring the whole family back home to meet the grandparents.

My in laws stayed with us for about 1.5 years from Sep 08 to Mar 10. My father in law cooked nice food for me during my pregnancy, looked after Mei together with the maid until she's 9 months. I am grateful to the folks, especially my father in law, as I believe it is not an obligation for the old folks to help out when the young are in need. My mother in law is in a mentally depressed state for past 15 years, shortly after my husband's departure to Singapore. She was fairly introvert, and does not have friends. What she enjoys probably the most, is sitting beside my father in law and watching him reading newspaper. Ok. A flash of them in 2009.

下个礼拜我们举家回去看我的公公婆婆，为期两周。上次我去老公的家还是结婚的时候，孩子们也从来没有回去过。是要回去的。公公婆婆在08年到10年的时候和我们住在一起。公公买菜煮饭，帮忙照顾妹妹，照顾身体不太好的婆婆。我是很感激的。老人没有义务帮我们带孩子。我们有义务赡养老人，却做得不够好。这样远，对我的父母如是，对我的公婆如是。

还让我感动的是公公对婆婆无微不至的照顾。公公最喜欢的是读报纸，婆婆最喜欢的是看公公读报纸。他也常常会念报纸给她听，早上挤好她的牙膏，出门必定牵着她的手。希望老公会继承这样的优良传统。

我的父母会来池州和我们汇合，省略了我带两个小儿再跋涉的困难。妈妈带瀚今到两岁，当时白白胖胖的，现在是个小瘦猴。

To date, we have prepared nothing for the trip. I will save this entry and update along the way.

Gifts - Chocolate 礼物 - 巧克力

How lame it is? I kept asking hubby what gifts to buy for the relatives since a month ago. He's busy and kept delaying. To date, we just bought loads of chocolate. 我一直不停地问老公要买什么礼物。他总是推说忙，我也没有责任感，至今只买了很多巧克力。

FX - strong SGD 汇率
5.23. 新币对人民币的汇率。从我十年前到这里来，这是最高的。新加坡政府近年来频频调高新币的波动范围，以对抗通货膨胀，一般的国家都是通过调整利率来调整通膨，这里的利率调整效应不大，就调汇率，影响到我们小市民。换人民币我是开心的。可是老公是拿美元的薪水，一年来拿回家的新币越来越少。悲哀呀。因为汇率的关系，我的full pay比他多。要记录下来，我希望这样的机会不用再来。

Passports - no Visa needed 护照
一字排开，3个新加坡护照，两个有效的中国护照，两个被剪了角的中国护照。不用申请签证。

Helper - a home trip for her as well
原本是想带保姆一起回去的，可是订票晚了，去合肥直达只剩下4张票，妹妹其实可以不用座位。但还是决定不带她了，让她回菲律宾去看自己的孩子，6年没有回去了。不知道我可以吗？还从来没有一个人带过两个孩子。。。

What we missed - HJ's Desaru trip
错过了什么？瀚今学校23号组织去马来西亚Desaru一天游，可以看农场，坐小船漂流过一条布满萤火虫的河。幼儿园第一次组织出国旅游，很想让瀚今去的。

Total Cost
花费：1万新币，至今。

I will update 2+ weeks later, how the trip goes, how I (+hubby) managed the kids, and how we enjoyed the company of families and relatives. Over here, we are missing the bonding with extended families and relatives, though we have wonderful friends but it wouldn't be same at all.

Looking forward to the trip!

80%

80%, this is the official amount of work I suppose to do based on my part time arrangement, just upgraded from 70% to 80% wef 1 May. My 4th anniversary with the investment bank has just past on the GE day. So I decided it is time that I pay a tribute to my work (career?), the other part that identifies me.

Nowadays, most of my identity comes as a mother of two. However, I do spend more than 8 hours a day in the office, fighting all breaks, churns all sorts of numbers, not missing my children for a single minute. It is only when I step out of the office, I wish I could fly to the side of my kids. Whether I am a good mum, is yet to be evaluated by my two little employers, who probably can give me their opinion in a few years time. I am definitely a good worker, and I am happy that my employer at work thinks so as well.

What has changed from 4 years ago (then) to now?

Then: I stayed late in the office until 9pm as a general rule, and until 11pm on occasion.
Now: I go off at 6:30pm (my official time is 4:30pm, hence, I seriously need to look at my workload even now)

Then: I got 100% pay.
Now: I get 80% pay, but higher in absolute term.

Then: I tried my best to answer all queries coming my way, even if it is not within my remit. i.e I was super helpful.
Now: I redirect. I delegate. I empower. :)

Then: I wrote lengthy emails detailing the issues, gives examples, uses illustration, proposing solutions.
Now: I write a few lines, but still able to articulate the issue and solution. No example, or illustration normally.

Then: I was interviewed.
Now: I am the interviewer, seeing about 10 candidates in two weeks.

Then: I was career minded and hope to fly high.
Now: I am family oriented, and willing to give up opportunities with no regrets.

What has not changed?

Then and Now: I still aim for the highest quality of work.
Then and Now: I never slack. I complete all tasks within the best of my means, and do not hold back in any case.

There were countless moments in these years, that I thought of quitting my job, spending the crucial years with my kids, watching them grow, discovering the tiniest bit of their developments...... They remained as thoughts. I usually leave it as financial consideration. But deep in heart, there is a part of me being happy that I am a Really Useful Engine, that I am truly independent.

And, other than my two little tots, I don't think other family members support the idea of stay at home mum.
Hubby: He always says he support any decision that I make. But I don't think he will be happy if I indeed stay at home, with zero income.
Mum and Dad: My folks never supported the idea. They always think that I will lose my independence if I asked money from Hubby. My in laws do not support either.

So, there would not be stay at home mum. There would not be # 3.

For my kids, mummy did want to stay at home to look after you. Mummy loves you!

Daddy's girl 爸爸的宝贝女儿

Mei used to run away whenever Daddy is in sight, scream when Daddy trys to hug her, mumbles 'Daddy go away'. I suspected that it takes time for the bonding to simmering in, and eventually, the girl will be Daddy's girl, even closer with Daddy than Mummy.

Well, it's definitely been improved very much lately. Evidence as below:
- she allows Daddy to listen to her heartbeat, a game two of them play regularly. Mei used to push him away, but now she lets daddy listen and pat him gently over the shoulder when he bends down to her heart level;
- she allows Daddy to feed her, and when daddy comes back from work (usually after we had our dinner) she will say 'I want Shu Cai (veggie)' and daddy will pick the shu cai from his bowl and feed her (mind our standard of hygiene)
- she massages for daddy, either sitting on him, or standing on him with a sudden stomp or flop, and giggles blissfully when daddy groans from the unexpected attack.

妹妹最近和爸爸越来越好，以前不让爸爸碰，不让爸爸抱。现在快要成了爸爸的宝贝女儿：

- 爸爸在听妹妹的心跳，妹妹轻轻拍爸爸的肩膀；

- 爸爸喂妹妹吃蔬菜；

- 妹妹帮爸爸做按摩。

My sweetie becomes more vocal, and a bit canny or naughty at times. 2 ancedotes today:

1. she put a water botter over her nose and says: Mei Mei becomes elephant. Oh, the limitless imagination of kids.
2. she put out a basket of small balls and looked at me, I said 'don't drop it', she smiled and turned the basket over slowly, balls bounced into all corners. I said 'pick it up', she said 'mummy cry' (I knew that she wanted me to pretending crying and she would then pick it up and made me happy), I said 'mummy will not cry, mummy will scold'. She forcefully insisted 'mummy cry' for over 10 times. I insisted she picking the balls up, she knocked my head using the basket with all her might. I kept my face straight, and she threw herself into my arms and started sobbing. I caved in. We settled for a 'sorry mummy', and picked up the balls together. Should I be more strict?

Important weekend 重要的周末

Something hard to miss for this weekend.

7 May

General Election 2011. I stayed up till 3am to watch the telecast of poll results, followed news throughout the running of the election, with a passion that I have not found ever before. My GRC is the only one not contested for this election, so I have no chance to vote. Think I am in line with the general public:
- support the overall ruling of the Government;
- like to have more balance and checks;
- felt for Mr Chiam;
- felt for George Yeo;
- inspired by Nicole Seah;
- impressed by WP.

I hope my kids will grow up to someone who believe what they do and do what they believe, have a passion to help the needy and serve the community, less cynical than an ordinary youth, and have the empowerment and maturity.

Who says new citizens are politically indifferent and just here to ride the economic gains? This is a place that my kids will grow up in, and I definitely want it to be a better place. Though a lot might argue, that new citizens might be more comfortable with the current situation since they chose to stay. It is probably true, as I don't really feel much of the pain about the rising cost of living and generally happy with whatever the Government offers now. However, I still want it to be a better place and am passionate about the future of this nation.

8 May

Mother's day. Han Jin drew a picture of me in a round plate, and made me a pack of soybean milk, a school initiative. I enjoyed my pack very much. Thanks to my dear son.
Other than the GE, life goes on. Since we don't have to vote, we went to the zoo with friends on Sat, and went to west coast park on Sun under boiling hot weather. Han Jin had sunburns on the cheek though I applied sunblock for him. So did I, on my feet and neck where I neglected of sun protection. Is there an increased chance of getting skin cancer in the tropical weather?

5月7日，新加坡5年一度的大选，我的选区划归国父领导，没有反对党来竞选，所以不用投票。但还是热情挺高地追选情。为落选的优秀人才嘘吁。为政府的稳定开心。

5月8日，母亲节，收到瀚今的礼物。我的画像和他手制的豆浆。谢谢我细腻的儿子。

Other things happened lately:
- Osama Bin Laden killed in Pakistan on 2 May
- Royal wedding in Britain on 29 Apr - Prince William and Kate Middleton

大选之外，我们还是在过我们的幸福小日子。

7号去了动物园，孩子们认真地看了海狮表演，和小动物们有近距离的接触，终于去坐了旋转木马，瀚今和阿为骑了小马，最开心的当然是玩水了。

晚上邀朋友们来我家喝红酒；

8号去了西海岸，看来妹妹和豆豆的chemistry好过小牛(豆豆太有女生缘，还是离远一点吧）。。。接连两天酷热的天（瀚今学会的新名词：），我和瀚今的皮肤被晒伤。。。

About Mei 22 个月的妹妹

This blog is meant to be dedicated to my family, for my kids to read when they grow up, for hubby to read when he finally gets a moment to read my blog and ponder with me on the happy days, for me to read and remember how lucky I am.

So in addition to updates on family activities, I will update the developments of my little ones. This entry is for Mei, who is at her cutest 22 months.

Language

Mei is early in terms of language. She speaks full albeit simple sentences. She takes charge and gives her opinion, at home. She is more timid outside.

Han Jin: Mummy, can I watch the TV (eat the sweet / play the games etc)?

Mei: Cannot! (before I answer)

HJ: Mummy, can I watch the TV?

Mei: Cannot!

HJ: Mei Mei, can I watch the TV?

Mei: Can!

HJ: Mummy, Mei Mei said I can watch the TV.

At this point, I am trying my best to hold my laugh and couldn't resist any request and go along with Mei's permission.

Mimic + easy going

Mei loves to mimic whatever Han Jin is doing. If HJ is having a cup of apple juice, she needs a cupful. If HJ eats the calcium chewable capsule, she needs two (split into half). She tries our table food, she gets french fries. A lot more junk food than Han Jin used to have at her age.

She is happy playing with other kids, gentle towards younger kids and not shun from playing with them. Eager to play with older kids, try to get along and mimic what they are doing. She had a great time with a 15 months old girl at the playgroup the other day. Mei plays with new faces, while Han Jin stays with his old gangs.

Mei plays with Raye (not sure this is the correct spelling), a 7 years old primary school boy, whose sister, Renae is in the same class as Mei, from a family that we have play dates now and then. I am always amazed at how the fantastic mum stimulates/teaches the sister at every opportunity. Two girls drew together, I threw the paper away afterward, the mum get the girl to tear the paper and put in a recycle bag (good for fine motor skills). Two girls playing together, I watched gleefully, the mum prompted questions about colors, opposites etc. A lot more intentional education through daily activities!

Ok, here is Raye, the first boy (other than our family members) carried Mei Mei, and she absolutely enjoyed and kept mentioning about it for a few days.

Meal time

Mei is a far less fussy eater (compared to HJ) and she still drink loads of formula milk now, around 800ml a day. Han Jin took around 200ml a day at this age. The first sentence Mei speaks to me when I am back from work will usually be: Mei Mei eat 3 bowls. (while, a bowl of mixed food, a bowl of soup, and another bowl for her to self feed). She let the maid feed her with no issue, and finishes the 3 bowls within 15 minutes, mouthful after mouthful.

With me, this is what she does (my first video on this blog, taken by iPhone. the vid by camera has a too large size and I have not figured out how to compress it for blog uploading)

I used to take pride in preparing her food when solid was first introduced. I would get up after putting Mei into sleep, and diligently mix organic food to boil, blend, store and label for her. That probably lasted for about half a year from 6 months onwards. Then, I delegated the food preparation task to the maid, and still did the sourcing of organic food for her for another 6 months. Then, the maid took full charge of her meal with non organic food...

I am looking into the feeding schedule and what goes into my girl's bowl these few days. We might change it from boiling + blending with minimum seasoning, to fine chopping and stir frying with a little more ingredients.

Play time

Most loved outdoor play: swing, swim and slide

Most loved indoor play: puzzle and toy house

Most loved person to play with (in descending order): mummy, gor gor, Ayi (the maid, both my kids call her Ayi, Chinese term for auntie), big gor gor (Jia Cheng), daddy. I wonder how Daddy's Girl will come into play, maybe with time.

Bath time

She likes to play water, but not that much towards bathing. Similarly to Han Jin, washing of hair needs delicate skills to avoid any contact of water with the eyes. Throughout the bathing time, she will yell 'ears go in, eyes go in' means water goes in ears or eyes.

We tried to put the two together for one day. It worked great and Mei obediently followed Gor Gor's instruction and let him lather her all over. HJ felt GOOD to be the one who is in charge.

Here is the few seconds that I caught on video.

Bed time

Mei shares a bed with the maid, something I always wanted to change, but perpetually deferring. My ideal set up at home: Mei and HJ share a room with their own fancy car and princess bed. We have a super king beds (matrasses on the floor) in the master room, for parents and kids to co-sleep over the weekends! If I ever got a new place (not likely in this roaring property market), this will be set up to go!

I do start Mei's bed time routine, by bathing her, playing puzzle with her, lying down to watch her drink her milk milk, then retreating quietly when the maid takes over. Some days, she's ok to let me go (probably the days when she had enough of me, for instance, the days when the maid is on leave, we will play kiss the hands, kiss the feet, kiss the tummy, and then she would voluntarily say good night to me). Some days, she sobs; some days, she wails. It pains that I have to go, to put HJ into sleep. If I have a few minutes before HJ's bedtime routine starts, I will lie next door in the dark, listen to Mei "Mummy, come back. Play Mummy (means play with mummy)". Sweetie, you plead didn't fall on deaf ear, mummy heard you, but just need a better routine when we finally get a dream house.

Sweet Moments

Couldn't recalls specifically, but I can't have enough of my girl, I can't have enough kissing of her, tickling of her, playing with her. What if I become a stay at home mum, would there be a time that I say I had enough?

I hope not.

Movie night at ACM 看电影

Movie night. Hoped that it was a couple thing. But not. Let me recall the last time that Hubby and I went for a movie.......... Aha, that was a year ago, during CNY celebration, we left both kids (Mei was still a nursing baby) behind and watched a HK movie (72 Tenants) in Lido Orchard... actually, not as far back as I thought.

Ok. We actually went for a movie under the star at the open green in front of Asian Civilisation Museum, for the whole family, Wong family, Ping's family, and Ling's family. Planned it to be a movie night with fine wine appreciation under the moon with Despicable Me, a cartoon for kids. However, we enjoyed ourselves too much at the Pizza Hut at Funan IT mall. By the time we reached ACM, we can barely find any unoccupied space. The little ones did watch the movie, for about ten minutes.

We sipped wine, tasted cheese from Holland, crackers and chit chat. Wong family is going to a Caribbean Cruise this weekend!

I took Mei for a walk along Singapore River. She happily recognised the boat that she took before, insisting there is fish in the river, not that I can see. Later, Angelina and Dou Dou were bored as well, and the daddies was bringing them to Fullerton Hotel to see the koi. I trailed along, reckon that Mei would love to see the koi. She did, and fascinated by the revolving door, as well as the live violin performance at a corner of the hall, though Mei probably the only one who paid attention to the music. She probably indeed has a gift for music?

Anyway, the most enjoyable moment came when Angelina and Dou Dou played Mummy and Daddy, and Mei voluntarily became the Baby. The bigger 2s enjoyed themselves with a story line of how Mummy and Daddy sayang sad Baby, how Mummy and Daddy go to work, and how Mummy and Daddy brings Baby to playground, etc. For mei, I doubt she understands her role completely (if she does, I would imagine she prefers to be in role at peer level maybe), but she was happy to play along cooperatively.

Mei is a sweet girl who knows sharing and taking turns very well, not an easy trait at this age. Think I am falling in love with my daughter day by day...

周日和几家朋友相约去看露天电影，想象可以在星光下的草地上野餐，喝红酒，品芝士，小朋友们可以自娱自乐看动画片。可是吃太长时间的披萨，很享受和妈妈们闲话。注意：都是爸爸们在照顾孩子。呵呵，我们周围的模范爸爸们还真是不少呀！

到了博物馆门前的草地上时，已经座无虚席了。在靠近河畔的角落铺下席子，零食和酒水散落一地。孩子们认真地看了10分钟的电影。

我和妹妹在河畔漫步，她显然记得上次坐船的经历。喜欢这张妹妹的侧影，以Fullerton酒店为背景，好像是六星级，建筑是由当年殖民时代的邮政局改建的，所以保留了维多利亚风格。

后来，妹妹和善玄豆豆去酒店里看锦鲤。大厅里的小提琴演奏让妹妹停下了脚步，小家伙的音乐天赋比妈妈好太多（妈妈太差！）后来大家玩过家家，两小无猜的善玄和豆豆自然是妈妈爸爸，妹妹借过去当小宝贝，不亦乐乎。

瀚今呢？回来的路上看到瀚今和爸爸在桥上远远看电影，一直是在看电影的吧？